


Lilith

by senseofenterprise (the_boleyn_treatment)



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Adam is the best uncle, Gabriel's the poor bastard that has to deliver it, God gives them a baby, Idiots in Love, Implied but not graphic sex, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Kid Fic, Lilith's gay dads, M/M, Post-Apocalypse, South Downs Cottage (Good Omens), and here we are, and then I accidentally put emotion in, good clean family wholesomeness, hand it over, ineffable parents, slaps fanfic this baby can hold so much self-projection, this started as a crack fic for a friend, well not deliver deliver
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-11 17:41:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19931950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_boleyn_treatment/pseuds/senseofenterprise
Summary: “She is your love, given form. Watch over and guide her, for there are none like her just as there are none like you.”After the world fails to end, they do what humans do. They fall in love, get married, get a little house, and maybe possibly consider the faintest thought of having a child. There are too many variables, they think, too many things preventing an angel and a demon from raising a child.The one where God answers their prayers.





	Lilith

**Author's Note:**

> This began as a crack fic for a friend but then I accidentally put emotion into it and things spiraled from there. See end for more notes.

Aziraphale blamed Satan himself for the scenario he was currently in. Then again, as an angel he blamed Satan for quite a lot of things. Evil in the world, polyester blends, bad wine, the drunk demon on his lap babbling incoherently about... something. He set down his own glass and tried very hard to tune in to what Crowley was talking about. This was more difficult than he anticipated. He managed to pick out the words “baby” and “fucking adorable” and “Nephilim” and “antichrist” and maybe his ears had deceived him, but he thought he heard “toesie-wosies.” It took him a moment, but he managed to string concepts together. Children. Crowley was talking about children. More specifically, the two of them having a child, together. “And it would be so fucking cute, angel,” Crowley proceeded, “just imagine that cute little shit walking around on chunky legs with blue eyes and–“ 

Aziraphale cut him off, immediately sobering himself up. “Is this something you’ve put thought into, dear?” His fingers started carding through Crowley’s hair, needing some kind of tactile task to keep him grounded as he approached what was certain to be a serious conversation. 

Crowley took a moment before responding. “Well I mean... maybe possibly on the rare occasion... the thought has crossed my mind.” His cheeks turned a soft pink that had nothing to do with the copious amounts of wine they had consumed between them. “I mean, you know how long I’ve loved you, right? And isn’t that what humans do? They fall in love, get married, get a little house, and maybe possibly consider the faintest thought of having a child. And we’ve already done three of those.”

“Yes love but the key word there is humans,” Aziraphale reminded him softly, “which we are not. I can’t even begin to think about how we would go about having a child. Would it even be possible for angelic and demonic DNA to mix?” There was a shift in his lap as Crowley decided he also needed to be sober for this conversation. Out of their line of sight, bottles re-filled with red liquid and Crowley sat up so he and Aziraphale were looking at one another. His long, slender hands took hold of his partner’s his thumb brushing gently against the gold ring on his left hand. 

“I don’t know,” he admitted, swallowing hard. “There are a lot of variables, but this is something I want. I love our life, I do, but think about it for just a moment.” He shifted so he sat on his knees and curled up close to the angel. “It would be our love, given form. A real, physical manifestation of Our Side. And we would watch them grow into a real being and love and guide them through life. And it would look like the both of us, the best combination of all.”

Aziraphale would have trouble admitting it, but his breath caught in his throat, Crowley’s words sweeping through him and conjuring the image of a child in his mind’s eye. For just a brief moment, he allowed himself to long for a future with this child, teaching them to read or singing to them or tucking them into bed with a soft kiss to the temple. His heart clenched in his chest and he shooed the thought away by clearing his throat. “Crowley dear, I don’t think it’s a good idea to dwell on an impossible idea.”

“Why is it impossible?” He looked Aziraphale in the eye, sending waves of fondness through the angel when gold met blue. 

“Because my darling, as much as mythology likes to believe so, it’s not as though we could fashion a child out of clay, nor are either of us capable of carrying it. And even if we could somehow manifest a child, it wouldn’t be safe. Not when Heaven or Hell could come knocking at any moment.” It was this thought that made his voice crack and Crowley’s face to fall. Crowley went to pull away from him, but Aziraphale caught his hand and brought him back closer. “But my love, I need you to know that this has nothing to do with my feelings for you.” He moved his hand to cup his face and brushed his cheeks with the pads of his thumbs. “You are the reason my world spins, Crowley. And if it were possible, I would love nothing in the world more than to have a family with you. The thought of a child who is a copy of us both is enough to make me want to dive head first into a lake of boiling sulfur.” His voice quieted to a whisper and he pressed a soft kiss to the top of the mop of red curls. “But for now we will carry on the two of us, loving each other in a way that is unfathomable to the rest of the universe.”

–

They sat in bed this time, rain pouring gently down outside. Crowley sat against the headboard, scrolling absentmindedly through twitter and considering starting drama among the fanbase of some influencer. Aziraphale’s head rested on his chest, the rest of his body curled up against his side save for the arm resting on Crowley’s stomach holding a copy of L’Homme qui rit (the English translation, of course; his French was still horrible). His eyes landed on the page, but he found his mind in quite another place.

He could not shake their conversation from the week prior from his head. Against his better judgement, his eyes closed and he pictured the hypothetical child again. He could almost reach out and touch a rosy face and dimpled knees. His imagination ran wild with the thought of warm summers and cozy winters with not just Crowley but a flesh and blood embodiment of the both of them. His heart swelled but shriveled again when he reminded himself that it simply wasn’t possible. It never could be possible, and he needed to box up this insane idea and move on before he hurt his spirit even more.

“I can feel you thinking bad things,” Crowley whispered, his hand coming to rest on Aziraphale’s back and trace his long fingers up and down his spine. He reveled momentarily at the feeling of soft, warm flannel under his fingertips but kept focused on the matter at hand. “What’s got you all wound up?”

“I’m not wound up,” came the reply; almost ready to defend himself but not quite having the energy to put his heart into it. “Since I know you’ll pester me until I admit it–”

“Right.”

“–I can’t quite shake last Wednesday’s discussion from my mind.” 

The room was silent for a moment. Crowley set his phone on the night stand and pulled the angel closer into his arms. The book became abandoned, page unmarked in favor of curling up on Crowley’s chest. “Neither can I,” the demon admitted after a moment of silent contemplation. “I keep thinking and thinking about ways to make it work but you were right, it probably just can’t happen.”

They laid there in companionable silence for a moment, neither of them particularly wanting to continue the conversation for fear that they would both end up heartbroken with grief over losing this dream that they had only just realized they shared. 

Outside of their window, lightning flashed, then thunder rumbled. The storm must have been close, because it was a roar strong enough to shake the cottage. Neither the angel nor the demon paid it any mind, too wrapped up in their thoughts. 

Until, of course, they heard the sound of something being knocked over and breaking in their kitchen, followed by a voice.

“Shit,” said the voice.

Both of them sat up at once, looking at one another with terror in their eyes. They had been found. Heaven or Hell, one of them, or both, had figured out what they had done during their trials and had come to exact their revenge. They sprung quickly from the bed and while Crowley miracled himself into clothes, Aziraphale very quietly crept down the hall to investigate. 

His breath caught in his throat and his eyes went wide as he peered around the corner and saw Gabriel standing in their kitchen, holding a basket and frantically miracling the mug he had broken back in one piece. He set the basket on the counter, grumbled something that Aziraphale could not quite make out, and with another crack of lightning, he disappeared from the house.

At this moment, Crowley came skidding around the corner, spray bottle in one (titanium-lined gloved) hand, looking damn near ready for a fight. Aziraphale reached out and grabbed his hand. “He’s gone already love.”

“He? He who?”

“Gabriel,” Aziraphale said, watching Crowley’s face grow more concerned by the millisecond. “He was just in the kitchen. He set down that basket and disappeared an instant later.” Crowley stood where he was, dumbfounded and terrified. 

And then the basket began to cry.

Well, not the basket exactly, but its contents. A strong wail that was decidedly infantile echoed throughout the kitchen, causing both of them to stop dead in their tracks and look at one another once again. Crowley’s hand found its way into Aziraphale’s and they slowly approached the basket together. Something sat on top of it; a note of golden ink on creamy parchment that read: 

“She is your love, given form. Watch over and guide her, for there are none like her just as there are none like you.”

Crowley froze upon reading the note, standing firmly behind Aziraphale and not daring to move for fear that something in the fabric of the universe would snap. It was the angel who very carefully opened the basket. If anyone had been watching his face, they would have seen it go through several emotions: shock, confusion, understanding, joy, and finally love. There was someone watching his face in fact, a very pink and squirmy someone, who stopped wailing the very moment two hands reached into the basket and lifted her out of it. 

Minding her head around the basket handle, Aziraphale lifted the baby clad in a soft yellow blanket and brought her to his chest. “Hello little one,” he murmured, the words coming out of his lips of their own volition without conscious effort. The baby looked for a moment as though she would begin wailing again, but when a finger stroked her impossibly soft cheek she settled. Her eyes fluttered open and revealed green irises speckled with gold. Aziraphale let in a sharp breath. It took him a moment to realize that these eyes must have belonged to Crowley long before he had that name.

It took until this moment for Crowley to finally return to the land of the living. He still moved slowly, afraid that someone was playing a very cruel joke on him and any moment he would wake up. Slowly, he moved closer behind Aziraphale and rested one hand on the back of the baby’s head. It registered in his mind that he could feel her. She was solid, earthly. Flesh, bone, and wisps of blonde curls so soft he could mistake them for clouds. Crowley bit his lip and unknowingly held in a breath. “Aziraphale,” he whispered, his mind unable to comprehend what was happening. 

Turning his head, Aziraphale looked back at him. Tears began to well in his eyes, but they were shining and crinkled at the edges. His face was pulled into an impossibly wide smile. “My dear,” he whispered, “for the first time in a very long time, our prayers have been answered.”

–

Hours later, after many tears and smiles, the new family sat in bed. Aziraphale sat against the headboard, Crowley curled up on his chest cradling the baby. He ran his long finger down the bridge of her little button nose while she slept, marveling at how soft she was. His angel in turn was running his fingers up and down Crowley’s back, tracing absentmindedly while he also watched her sleep, fascinated by her breathing. 

“She needs a name,” Crowley said suddenly, as though he had not thought about it in the many hours that had passed. 

Aziraphale hummed thoughtfully. “Yes, I suppose she does,” he pressed a soft kiss to the top of Crowley’s head, acknowledging his point but allowing his partner to make the first suggestion.

Golden eyes fluttered closed for a moment but quickly reopened, hesitant to spend even a second not gazing upon the slumbering child in his arms. “I did have one idea.”

“Fire away my dear.”

“...How do you feel about Lilith?” He turned his head slightly so he could see Aziraphale’s face. The angel thought for a moment, brows briefly furrowed then replaced by understanding.

“Of course,” he said after a moment, “you knew her.” Crowley nodded but did not respond, still waiting for an approval or denial. Aziraphale moved his fingers from Crowley’s back to the top of the baby’s head, touching her curls with gentle reverence. “I think it suits her my darling. I really do.”

Crowley smiled, eyes crinkling, and settled more comfortably against the chest behind him. “Welcome to the world, Lilith. I think you’ll figure out pretty fast how easy it is to get your father wrapped around your finger.”

–

Adam had taken to the baby immediately, declaring himself her official uncle. Crowley and Aziraphale hadn’t minded a bit. It warmed their hearts to see the young former-antichrist interact with their daughter. He was fourteen now, becoming less of a boy and more of a man. His voice had dropped, and he had grown half a foot. His hair was shaggy as ever, which annoyed his father but reminded Aziraphale of Crowley, whose hair now hung just above his shoulders. It was pulled up on this day, out of the reach of a ten month old Lilith who had an affinity for pulling her father’s hair.

She was distracted for the moment, sitting on the floor next to a steadily-growing block tower. Adam handed her each block for her to add to the stack, and it was nearly high enough that she would have to stand to reach it. “So you don’t actually know what she is?” He asked the duo sitting at the coffee table across the room. “Angel or demon?”

“No clue in the slightest,” Aziraphale admitted with a sigh, setting down his teacup. “It’s doubtful that she is truly one or the other, or if she is she’s angelic.”

“Right, not as if the Almighty would create and send off a full-fledged baby demon,” Crowley reasoned, his hand wrapped protectively around Aziraphale’s lower back and his thumb rubbing soft circles into his side. “Although she certainly has enough demonic attributes,” he grinned.

“What do you mean?” Adam looked up, his expression somewhere between confused and too excited for his own good.

Aziraphale sighed from his spot on the sofa. “Well, that is,” he tapped nervously on his cup, “she does have a trait or two that lead us to believe that she may, possibly,” he continued to ramble until Crowley decided that show was better than tell. 

“Cover your ears,” he warned Adam. As soon as the ears of the teenager and Dog were covered, Crowley snapped, and Lilith’s tower of blocks went crumbling to the floor.

Her eyes welled up with tears, shifting from their usual green to a serpentine yellow. Her face went red and puffy. She let out a blood-curdling scream. It was the reaction that any normal human infant would have, but most normal human infants didn’t have eyes that glowed yellow and a scream that sent out sound waves strong enough to shatter the windows.

Glass went flying in shards out into the yard and the cottage shook to its very foundation. With another snap, the windows were back in place and the block tower was back as it had been a moment ago. Lilith’s cry stopped instantly, and she returned to the happy infant she had been just seconds before, eyes green once again.

Adam’s eyes widened and he took his hands off his ears. He grinned widely and clamored to his feet, scooping up the baby and hugging her warmly. “That was absolutely wicked Lilith! I’ve only managed to do that once and you can do it already! You gotta have a natural talent for it!”

Crowley couldn’t help but smile, even as his partner was miracling his shattered teacup back into one piece with a huff. “Yes, but you see how it might pose an issue,” the angel explained once everything was straight again, “if we want to take her into public or what she wants isn’t easy to give.”

Adam wasn’t listening to reason, too busy bouncing his giggling niece and affectionately calling her a banshee. Crowley rubbed Aziraphale’s back gently. “It’ll sort itself out angel,” he murmured, pressing his lips to golden curls. “She’ll grow out of it, I’m sure.”

Despite his resolve, the angel melted into his touch. “Not that any child of yours could ever actually be dangerous,” he teased, “the most evil thing you were capable of doing was rearranging a freeway.”

“Cheap shot angel,” he laughed. “Cheap shot.”

–

Despite living near the beach, Crowley had insisted while they were house hunting that they find somewhere with a garden. “If I’m going to leave the city to move to a tiny beach town,” he had said, “I at least get to keep my one hobby.” So the first spring that they had lived there (the year before Lilith entered their lives) Crowley had planted everything he could think of. The yard was filled with rows of vegetables as well as a few plots of flowers. The perimeter was lined with fruit trees which the neighbors had remarked grew at least five times their natural speed (with a little help, of course). 

Crowley had created his own Eden. In this secluded part of the world was his and Aziraphale’s sanctuary from Heaven, Hell, and the everyday fuss of modern life. And when Lilith had become part of their Side, Crowley had carried her outside on a warm day and showed her everything. “This darling,” he had promised her, “is all for you. This is your place to grow and thrive and explore. To question. And you will never, ever, be thrown out just because you made stupid mistakes.” 

Unlike the Adam of old, Crowley worked the land of his Eden. He crouched on his knees, inspecting his tomatoes for new buds. It was a sunny day in early June, about a year and a half after Lilith had arrived. The first summer had been filled with lazy days lying in the sunshine, but this year she was mobile. Although Crowley had gotten an early start outside, he soon heard the familiar sound of the back door opening.

He glanced up and couldn’t help but smile at the sight of Aziraphale in his shirtsleeves closing the door with one hand, his other being firmly grasped by tiny fingers. Lilith stood on the step in a light blue sundress and matching hat, her squishy arms free in the breeze and her impossibly chubby legs unimpeded by pants. She allowed herself to be helped down the step before letting go of Aziraphale’s hand in favor of toddling over toward Crowley.

“Good morning Lily pad,” He said, grin on his face and eyes crinkling behind his sunglasses. For once, they were worn to actually protect his eyes from the sun rather than to hide his eyes from those he did not trust with his emotions. His spade was set aside and his gloves removed so he could take her in his arms without getting her dirty. Ever so carefully, she walked toward him. The action was not yet mastered, and she stumbled once but caught herself. Finally, she was within his reach and squealed in delight when she was swept off her feet and tossed carefully in the air to be caught again. Her rosy cheeks glowed as she giggled. Crowley brought her back down and held her, smelling her head and marveling at her sun-warmed skin. 

Aziraphale had crossed the garden as well (with more practiced ease than Lilith had) and began inspecting the plants from above. “I thought we could spend the morning out here. Perhaps go for a walk by the ocean later. Oh dear, your zucchini is starting to look a bit pallid.”

“Whatever you want, angel,” Crowley gave Lilith a kiss on her rosy cheek before setting her loose. He then dug into his bag and pulled out several aluminum cans. Aziraphale grew incredibly confused as he watched Crowley place empty vegetable cans throughout the garden. He opened his mouth in question, but he didn’t have time to utter the words before Crowley explained, “Since you won’t let me yell at plants that we eat, this is my way of letting them know that I. Am. Getting. Impatient.” He hissed this last part, his voice low so that Lilith wouldn’t pick it up, but the vegetables would. 

Later, when Crowley finished tormenting his plants, he had been sent by his husband inside to bring a few things outside. He returned diligently with a blanket and a few snacks. He spread the blanket out under one of the trees and was rewarded with a kiss from his angel. Lilith left her spot on the ground investigating a worm long enough to toddle over to swipe a slice of banana that Crowley had cut up. Her mission was thwarted by the Master of Thwarting when he picked her up and set her on his lap. Aziraphale ignored her fussing and applied a new coat of sunblock on her arms. “I know you don’t enjoy this Lilith, but I promise you that you would enjoy a sunburn even less.” She kicked her chunky legs in protest, but her whines turned to giggles when Crowley reached over and tickled the bottoms of her feet. Aziraphale smiled softly, delighted by the sounds of his daughter’s laughter and appreciative of his husband for distracting her. When he finished covering her gentle skin in cream, he set her loose. “Alright my love, go get your snack.”

“Like father like daughter,” remarked Crowley, sitting next to Aziraphale with one leg bent and the other extended on the blanket. “Don’t come between her and her snacks for fear of accidentally starting a war.” His smile turned into a grin when his teasing was rewarded with a scoff.

“Really my dear, I may have an appreciation for eating but I’m hardly dangerous when I must go without.”

–

“Green please, Daddy,” came the twinkling voice next to Crowley on the floor. He passed the requested crayon over to her and watched her impossibly tiny fingers wrap around it. At three and a half, Lilith was the very picture of her father, her messy blonde curls falling just above her shoulders. Usually they would have been confined to pigtails, but she had insisted on dressing herself this morning and had opted instead to leave them hanging loose. This also explained why she was wearing a purple princess dress and a flower crown rather than her normal clothes. Aziraphale had thought about correcting the situation but had been stopped by his partner who had insisted on giving her this bout of independence. Besides, it’s not like they had anywhere to be.

Rain poured down in sheets outside the windows of the cottage, and there was a fire going in the fireplace, safely confined behind a screen. Aziraphale was curled up on the chaise in his shirt sleeves and glasses, poetry collection in hand. His foil was lying flat on his stomach on the floor next to their daughter who was sitting cross-legged and surrounded by crayons. Crowley had conjured up a piece of paper several feet wide and set Lilith free with a box of crayons. She had insisted on him helping her and knowing she would soon go down for her nap (she stuck to a schedule like clockwork), he found himself adding on to her drawing. He worked on the background for her, creating a beautiful and detailed sky behind her army of squiggles. He glanced up for a moment and caught the eye of his angel, who had been watching them. A soft smile graced Aziraphale’s features when their eyes met, and he returned to his book. 

Crowley smiled and propped himself up on his elbows, his chin resting on his hands. “Who are you drawing, Lily pad?”

“This is you,” she pointed out the grey and red squiggle on the paper, then the blue one, “and Papa beside you. And this is me and this is Adam and a bunch of butterflies.” None of what she had drawn even remotely resembled what she had described, but Crowley nodded solemnly at every word.

“Oh yes of course, how silly of me for not knowing.” He grinned and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “You know I think you captured your Papa exactly. It looks almost like a photo.”

Aziraphale looked for a moment as though he was going to fight back against the teasing but abandoned any thoughts of such when he found Lilith getting up from the floor and climbing into his lap. He set his book aside and pulled her in his arms, placing a kiss in her mop of curls so like his own. “I think he’s right, my darling, you’ve done such a very good job. It’s a beautiful picture. We’ll hang it up in your room.” The little girl glowed under his praise and curled up against his chest, her thumb finding its way into her mouth. She stayed curled up in his arms, helpless against the warmth of his chest and the sound of the rain hitting the roof. Within moments she was asleep in his arms. No matter how many times she had done so, it still melted the hearts of her fathers when she fell asleep being held. He carefully took the flower crown off her head and set it aside, his fingers carding through her hair while she slept.

Crowley put all the crayons back in their box before rising from the floor. He crossed the room and sat on the end of the chaise, his hand resting on Aziraphale’s knee. “Do you want me to carry her to bed?” He whispered, trying not to wake her.

“Not just yet,” came the reply, blue eyes shining and crinkling at the corners. “I would hate to risk waking her.” Crowley snorted at the excuse but didn’t press the issue. Instead he rose and went to put the kettle on, stopping to steal a kiss from his angel and rest his hand on the back of Lilith’s head on his way out of the room.

–

“Yesyesyesyesyesyes angel. Deeper,” Crowley whined, arms and legs wrapped firmly around Aziraphale, hips rocking and neck craned as it was being sucked on furiously. They loved their daughter more than anything, but it had become increasingly difficult to get any time alone as Lilith got older. Aziraphale moved and captured Crowley’s lips in a deep, searing kiss in an attempt to quiet him down for fear of waking their daughter in the room next door. 

But it was too late. At the sound of “Papa?” from the hallway, Aziraphale as quickly as he could rolled off of Crowley and covered them both with the duvet. “Yes darling?” In the back of his mind, he registered that Crowley had miracled clothes on to the both of them, which he was grateful for when Lilith entered the room and climbed on to the bed. 

“Bad dream,” she murmured, planting herself firmly in the space between her fathers. She was six now, quickly approaching the age of being too old to sleep with her parents. Neither of them had the heart to do anything about it, both feeling that the time was passing much too quickly. Compared to their eternal lifespans, six years had passed in the blink of an eye and their tiny bundle was now an entire person. Aziraphale felt his heart melt and he ran his fingers through her hair.

“Would you like to talk about it?” he asked, laying back down. Crowley wrapped his arms around Lilith in an act of comfort, which she immediately leaned into and got cozy. She shook her head in response to the question. “Alright my love, you stay right here with me and your father and we’ll make sure no more bad dreams get you.” He rolled over onto his side so he was facing the two beings he loved most in the world, scooting closer so he could rest his hand on Crowley’s hip. He wouldn’t sleep, of course, but he did enjoy taking a few hours to relax and be close to his spouse. 

“Papa?” Lilith said after a moment.

“Yes darling?”

“Will you sing to me?”

It was a request stretching back to Lilith’s infancy. He had gotten into the habit whenever she had been fussy or refused to nap. It worked like magic every time, helping her to let go and sleep soundly. Aziraphale had never been known for his singing. For all the talk of Heaven’s “Celestial Harmonies”, his voice was nothing to write home about. But laying there in his bed, daughter curled up between him and his partner of 6 millennia, he allowed himself to warble.

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey.” Lilith’s eyes fluttered closed and she relaxed more fully against Crowley. Crowley smiled and absentmindedly ran his fingers through her hair. 

“You’ll never know, dear,” he picked up where Aziraphale had left off, “how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away.” He lifted his eyes to meet the angel’s, receiving a warm smile in response. 

“The other night dear, as I lay sleeping,” They continued on like that, alternating lines until Lilith was sleeping soundly between them and both of them were fixated on watching her chest rise and fall with each slow, deep breath. Crowley craned his neck forward and was rewarded with a soft, sweet kiss. 

“Goodnight my dear,” Aziraphale whispered.

“Goodnight sunshine.”

–

“What the fuck are we supposed to tell her when this thing doesn’t last the week,” Crowley hissed through his teeth, holding a plastic baggy containing a goldfish in his hand. “Death is a natural part of life and every living creature faces it one day except you, me, and your dad?”

There had been a carnival by the beach that weekend, and Lilith had begged her fathers to take her. It wasn’t as if they were going to say no to her, but they certainly had enjoyed watching her beg and plead and do extra chores while they had pretended to think it over. They hadn’t kept her waiting for long they thought, but a whole day seemed like an eternity to an eight year old. She had been delighted when they agreed to take her, and even more delighted when she realized that Adam, visiting on his break from university, would be joining them.

The fish had been a prize from a ring toss game. Crowley was surprised that carnivals still did such things. Surely by now the industry would have realized it was cruel to the animals. He made a mental note to do something about that later. Animal cruelty or not, Lilith had come running up to her fathers with the bag in hand, a toothless grin present as she showed it off. Aziraphale had turned around from where Crowley was showing off his ability to shoot water at plastic targets without the use of magic and congratulated Lilith on her accomplishments. She’d handed the bag off to her Dad to hold, then grabbed Adam by the hand and run away again in search of her next game.

That left her parents where they were now, standing in a quiet place with a goldfish and contemplating how they would breach the subject of death with their possibly-immortal daughter. 

“My dear surely you realized we would have to explain it to her someday,” Aziraphale sighed, willing himself not to look at the fish. “Frankly I’m surprised we’ve gotten away with avoiding it for this long. Most children have experienced some kind of loss by this age. 

“Well she’s not most children, is she? We got extra time from not sending her to school but this thing,” he gestured to the bag, “is a time bomb for difficult conversations.” Indeed, they had decided to opt out of sending her to school, instead allowing her access to whatever information she was interested in with supplemental guidance from her fathers. They had been delighted to realize that their child’s natural curiosity had been all the motivation she needed to learn every bit of knowledge appropriate to a child her age. Aziraphale sighed. 

“Darling unless you want to have that conversation in the next ten minutes perhaps you should stop shaking the bag.” Aziraphale’s fingers pinched the bridge of his nose as he sighed deeply. “I know that this is difficult, but it’s something we’re just going to have to get through. As a family,” his hand left his face and took the hand of Crowley’s that didn’t have a fish in it. “And I suppose that unlike mortal parents, we actually have the answers to what happens after death.”

“I s’pose that’s true.” Crowley squeezed his hand in return and leaned against the wall. He found Aziraphale’s hand leaving his hold and coming to rest on his face where his thumb brushed against the demon’s cheekbone.

“We’re just going to have to think positively and work through this, just like every other parenting challenge we’ve faced so far. We’ve survived every crisis yet, and we can survive the rest of them.”

A thoughtful hum was the response he got. “How come you get to be the clever one?”

“It’s all the reading I do,” his angel replied smugly.

The rest of the carnival went smoothly. Lilith had spent the remainder of the day riding every ride she was tall enough for and showing off at each game for her parents and uncle. The family stayed on the beach until Lilith had worn herself out and was falling asleep in Crowley’s arms as they walked back to the house. He carried her with practiced ease on one hip, Aziraphale’s arm wrapped around his waist as they walked. She would have been too big to carry if he had been human, he mused, but one of the perks of being a supernatural entity was the ability to carry his little girl even as she became anything but.

Upon arriving home, he carried her upstairs and tucked her into bed, taking a moment to watch her get comfortable and slip more soundly asleep. No matter how old she got, he and Aziraphale both got so soft in the heart whenever they watched her sleep. He gently ran his fingers through her hair and pressed a kiss to her forehead before slipping back downstairs.

Aziraphale had miracled a proper tank for the fish (it may have arrived in harsh conditions, but he was going to ensure that it now had the setup it needed) and was pouring three glasses of red. Adam sat at the counter on a stool, his legs dangling as they always had. Crowley slipped up and kissed Aziraphale before taking his wine glass and sitting next to Adam.

“Are you going to tell me what had you two all huddled up earlier?” Adam asked, taking a sip of his wine. At twenty-one, century-old red wine was not what he would have ever bought for himself, but he supposed that staying with his ancient godfathers meant drinking stuffy old people wine. 

“We were talking about that thing,” Crowley gestured toward the fish, “and how we’re going to explain to Lilith what happens when it kicks the bucket.”

Leaning against the counter, Aziraphale sighed. “It would be one thing if she was a normal child, but explaining to her that we won’t die, and that we aren’t certain if she will, and that she’ll have to see everything else go through it–“ He cut himself off, suddenly too overwhelmed to finish his sentence. 

Adam nodded, not needing the rest of the thought to understand what was going through the angel’s mind. “Death’s a hard enough concept for any kid,” he agreed, suddenly looking wise beyond his years. “I can’t imagine having to pile the looming thought of immortality on top of it.”

It was a topic they didn’t like to think about. In the past ten years Crowley and Aziraphale had gotten far more attached to the boy than they had to any human being before. A small part of them had hoped unsaid that he would be a permanent fixture in their lives, but he had continued to grow and change as any other human boy would and they felt that hope slip. Now they wondered whether his heritage or his heart would matter when it came down to what side he would end up on. Crowley felt himself slipping down this train of thought and decided to push it down, saving it for another time. There was another matter at hand now. 

“The point is,” he said, bringing himself back to reality, “we’re going to have to find a way to present this in a way that isn’t traumatic or overwhelming.”

“Bring it up gradually,” Adam suggested, setting down his glass. “Don’t do it all at once or you’ll freak her out. Start by talking about how old you guys are and where you erm... come from. Then explain how you aren’t quite like humans because you started in the place they end up and ended up in the place where they start.”

Gold eyes met blue from across the room. “That’s actually not a bad idea,” Aziraphale said after a moment, his mind registering the suggestion. “That way it’s presented less as something bad that humans are cursed to and more as a natural, equivalent exchange.”

Crowley nodded, having soaked the words in carefully and mulled them over. “See angel?” He said after a moment, “the boy’s cleverer than both of us put together.”

“Yeah, like that was ever up for debate,” Adam grinned cheekily and downed a wine that was meant to be sipped.

–

As long as Lilith had been capable of intelligent conversation, she and Crowley had walked on the beach whenever she had something to work through. At twelve, she was beginning to look more and more like Crowley, just with long blonde curls which she wore pulled back to keep them tamed. She truly was a combination of them both. That thought brought a fond smile to Crowley’s lips as they walked, his shoes in one hand and his bare feet on the sand, Lilith mirroring the behavior at his side. It was late in the evening, and the sky was a warm pink that illuminated them both. The beach was nearly empty save for the two of them and one woman walking her dog in the opposite direction. Crowley did not know what it was she needed to talk about. She had simply requested a walk. They stepped along the shore for about ten minutes before she opened up.

“Where did I come from?” She finally asks, figuring this was the best way to get her father to ease into the conversation.

Crowley looked at her for a moment, continuing to walk. “You know where. You were hand delivered to us in a basket during a thunderstorm.” His almost-teenager rolled her eyes.

“You don’t really expect me to still believe that, do you?”

He chuckled. “I figured that you’re old enough to have figured out reproduction, but you really were hand delivered by an angel. A huge asshole of one, by the way. Don’t tell your father I said that word. Gabriel wasn’t exactly happy about it, but I guess he has the most experience with delivering miracle babies out of anyone.”

Lilith took these words in, drifting slowly closer to where the waves lapped up on the sand so her feet could get wet. “So I just popped into existence without any kind of creating? Like just boom, I was there?”

Crowley stopped where he stood and turned toward her, Lilith following suit and looking at him. "You," he starts, "were hand-made by God Herself and put on this Earth to renew your father’s and my love for it.” He took her hand in his own and began to walk again. “You’ve picked up enough from us and from Adam to figure out the whole apocalypse-averting thingy.” She nodded. “Well we’d always lived as close to human lives as we could. And once we figured out that we didn’t have Heaven or Hell breathing down our necks anymore we got together. Got married, moved out to the seaside, lived our normal human lives. But something was missing. We wanted to have a kid. Complete the human facade.”

“But you’re not human.”

“But we’re not human,” he agreed. “So we couldn’t adopt or get pregnant or any of the normal human stuff. We figured it would never happen, and we were starting to make our peace with that. It sucked, but we could just enjoy our lives the two of us. And then like out of a movie, on a stormy night the archangel Gabriel was breaking into our freaking kitchen knocking shit over and leaving you in a basket on the counter before we could catch him and cause anymore embarrassment.” He grinned at this, the memory still fond in his mind. “And on the basket was a letter. The Actual One and Only God decided we did such a bang up job saving the world that She gave us the one thing we wanted more than anything.”

“Me.”

“You, Lily pad.” He drew her into his side and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. 

She relaxed into his hold for just a moment. “So what am I?” She asked, her real question finally bubbling to the surface. “I mean Papa’s an angel and you’re a demon but usually those two don’t mix so what am I? Am I human? Am I mortal?”

“That I can’t answer,” Crowley sighed. “We just don’t know really. It’s not like occult babies come with special-edition manuals. But you performed enough rudimentary magic as a baby for me to assume you’re probably not mortal. I doubt there’s a proper label for whatever you are.” He let her go and began to walk again. “But it’s not like we’re really an angel or a demon anymore. We gave up the sides we were supposed to be on. That’s what I told your father on the night Adam stopped the world from ending. I turned to him and I said ‘You don’t have a side anymore. Neither of us do. We’re on our own side.’ There’s no such thing on Earth as good or evil, there’s just people being fundamentally people.” He thought for a moment.

“I’m not sure what you are, Lily pad. But I know despite whatever DNA you’ve got that you’re a part of Our Side. We’re a team, the three of us. And come Hell or high water we’re going to love you and keep you safe.”

Lilith threw her arms around Crowley’s waist and hugged him tightly, her head resting on his chest. She would catch up to him in height soon, he mused, returning the warm embrace. “Love you,” she murmured.

He rested his hand on the back of her head, just as he had done many times when she was a baby. “Love you too, kid. Are you ready to walk back?” He received a nod of confirmation and turned back toward the house, the conversation suddenly becoming something lighter. 

–

For most intents and purposes, Lilith was a normal young woman. She had reached eighteen and simply stopped aging. She had decided that this was a good form for her and stuck with it. It wasn’t as though she could go much further, it wouldn’t do to get close to her fathers in physical age lest people begin to question their perfectly normal-looking family.

Nobody would look at her and guess that she was nearing fifty.

She was still very young in comparison to any other being like her. Her fathers still saw her as a baby for Somebody’s sake. But to humans she was simply a young girl who just happened to act wise beyond her years. Her childhood thirst for knowledge had never quelled, and she had hopped between every major university in western Europe getting new degrees. 

On this particular day she was on a rare break. She had finished her third doctorate (microbiology) a few months prior and wrapped things up in Barcelona before booking a plane ticket home to surprise her fathers. The summer breeze blew through her hair as she climbed the steps from the tube station. She closed her eyes, taking in the sounds of London. The city had been home, briefly, several decades ago. At sixteen she had taught herself everything that she could, and subsequently packed her bags and gone to King’s College in pursuit of her first degree. Her parents had followed not a month after, wiping off the dust in the flat above one A.Z. Fell and Co. and returning to how their life had been before marriage and child.

This was her destination now, just a few blocks away from the station. Her suitcase rolling behind her, she walked briskly toward the shop. Her face lit up into a smile when her eyes landed on the building, standing as permanently as it had since 1794 (almost-apocalypses notwithstanding). It was not open, but then it rarely ever was. Locks were of no matter to Lilith who simply turned the knob and was granted access. 

“We’re closed!” Came a voice from the back, repeating the same mantra it had for centuries to avoid actually selling books. “I could have sworn I locked the door,” the same voice murmured and grew louder as it emerged from the back.

“Well it’s a good thing I have a key,” Lilith responded, her grin as cunning and bright as her Dad’s. Aziraphale’s face finally came into her view and it lit right up as she abandoned her suitcase in the foyer and ran into his arms. She wrapped herself firmly around him and his hand went to the curls so much like his own. Her hair was shorter than it had been when she left, now cropped short into a pixie to make herself look older.

A wide smile graced his features as he registered what was happening, and his grip on her tightened. “My darling girl, I wasn’t expecting you! I do wish you’d called so I could have cleaned your room out.”

“I wanted to surprise you Papa,” she beamed, pulling herself back to look at him. He hadn’t changed at all since she’d left, but then she supposed that neither had she. His hands went to her face and cupped it gently, stroking her cheeks and looking into her eyes. She was forty eight now, he thought. Still so young and yet not his baby anymore. She may have had his coloring, but she was a tall gangly thing, the image of Crowley. Speaking of Crowley–

“Angel what’s taking so long? Are you dueling rogue customers again?” There was a laugh in Crowley’s voice as his footsteps could be heard on the stairs. Lilith stepped away from Aziraphale’s hold when she heard her Dad coming down the stairs. He looked much the same as always, although his hair was short again. It was shorn close on the sides, but he allowed the top to curl. When his unhidden eyes fell on his daughter, he launched himself across the room at her. She copied the action and met him in the middle, laughing warmly as he picked her up off her feet and spun her around the room. “My genius has returned!” He cried triumphantly. “The one and only Lilith Crowley-Fell MD. PhD. PhD. PhD. has returned to her parent’s humble abode!”

Lilith glowed under the praise just as she always had and held on tightly as Crowley eventually returned her to the ground. He took a moment to look her over and take her in just as Aziraphale had, getting a just slightly brighter smile. “Welcome home Lily pad,” he grinned and hugged her once again. 

“You just barely caught us,” Aziraphale said, taking her suitcase from the foyer and moving it upstairs to her room with a snap of his fingers. “We’ve just been here for a quick check-in. We’ll be heading home in the morning so there won’t be much time to get out and enjoy the city I’m afraid.”

“That’s alright,” Lilith responded, finally being allowed out of Crowley’s grasp. “I think going home and getting some rest would do me good. I can come out and enjoy the hustle and bustle some other time.” She toed out of her shoes and collapsed against the sofa, suddenly exhausted from her flight and maneuvering the metro system. 

Aziraphale picked up her shoes and moved them to the front door, ever the parent. “How long are you home for this time dear?”

“A few years I think,” she sat up slightly as Crowley joined her on the sofa and moved to curl up next to him, head on his shoulder. “I think I’ll take some time out of the spotlight and let academia forget about me before showing up as a baby-faced grad student again. Might find something in research or teaching to keep me occupied.

Her smile returned as Aziraphale bent over the back of the sofa and pressed another kiss to the top of her head. “Well you’re welcome to stay at home as long as you want, and if you decide to work here in London you can stay here in the flat scaring off customers.

She gave him a mock-salute in response, earning a laugh from both of her fathers. “Mission understood, Captain.” A yawn escaped her as she sat up. 

“D’you wanna go upstairs and take a nap?” Crowley asked. Like her fathers, Lilith did not technically need to sleep. She hadn’t had the physical need since she had been a teenager, which was very useful for someone who spent their entire life seeking advanced schooling. Still, she was like her Dad in that she did enjoy sleeping, and every once in a while she would get the urge and settle in for a night. She considered the offer for a moment, then nodded. 

“Go rest and unpack, then we can talk about going and getting dinner to celebrate your return.” Lilith may have gotten her love of sleep from her Dad, but her love of food came entirely from her Papa. She was grateful for the suggestion and smiled to convey such. 

“That sounds like a great plan,” she sat fully upright and gave both of her fathers another hug before going upstairs to unpack and lay down.

Her room at the flat had only been such since she was sixteen. Unlike her actual bedroom at home in the Downs, it held very few traces of evidence that she lived there. After all, Crowley and Aziraphale had only resumed living there after she was already staying in a university dorm and only spruced the spare room up enough for her to have a place to come and sleep on the weekends if she grew weary of the shenanigans of mortal teenagers. Closing the door behind her, she ran at the bed and threw herself on it. Nearing fifty or no, there are certain ways of behavior appropriate to eighteen year old girls that are in fact welded into the genes. Form shapes nature. She considered unpacking her suitcase but eventually decided against it with the knowledge that she would return home tomorrow and be able to set her belongings right in her own space. Moving across the continent would normally have required quite a bit more luggage than one suitcase, but she had been able to shrink her earthly possessions down until they fit neatly in the hardcover bag.

Rolling on to her back, she looked up at the ceiling before taking a long, deep breath. Any other woman her age would have been weary from going and going like she did, but her perpetual youth kept her able to pull all-nighters and work until the job was done. She had studied many different areas at this point. Medicine had been rewarding but ultimately not her calling. Astronomy and History were fascinating as well, but then she had missed the sciences. Microbiology she loved, and she now planned on sticking to it for a few years before something else called to her. She loved to learn, and she had all the time in the world to explore whatever she desired. 

Rolling on to her side, she snapped so the lights turned off and pulled her legs up close to her chest. Green eyes fluttered closed and she was out within seconds. A few minutes later, covers were pulled up over her and a gentle kiss was placed on her forehead. 

No matter how old she got, her fathers melted when they watched her sleep. Aziraphale tucked her in and crossed the room back to the doorway where Crowley stood leaning against the wall. He opened his arm for his husband to stand in his hold, fitting together at the hip like two puzzle pieces. A soft smile was shared between them as they stood, watching their miracle’s chest rise and fall with each deep breath for a moment before leaving the room and letting her sleep soundly.

They adjourned to their own room across the hall and sat on the bed. Aziraphale took his usual position sitting up against the headboard with his husband’s head in his lap and his fingers running through red hair. 

“Did you know she was coming home?” Crowley asked, getting comfortable and enjoying the fingers carding through his hair.

“I’m afraid not my love. She thoroughly surprised us both, just as she always does.” He smiled softly and reached over to his nightstand where a double picture frame sat. One side held a photo of the three of them, taken by Adam shorty after Lilith had arrived. The new parents looked thoroughly exhausted but brimming with joy. The other half of the frame held a note. The paper was just as creamy white fifty years on, and the golden ink had never faded. He traced his finger across the words he had memorized long ago.

“I can feel you thinking happy thoughts,” Crowley said, lifting his head and turning it to investigate why Aziraphale had stopped petting his hair. When it registered what was happening, he grew a smile identical to his angel’s. “She is your love, given form,” he recited dutifully. “Watch over her and guide her.”

“For there are none like her just as there are none like you,” Aziraphale finished, his clear blue eyes clouding up with happy tears. “I think we did a pretty good job, my dear.” Crowley’s heart melted and he sat up, curling up against his angel’s side and resting his head on his shoulder. He pressed a gentle kiss to his jawline and took his hand in his own.

“I think I’m going to follow her lead and have a nap,” the redhead murmured. “You start thinking about where we should take her for dinner.” Aziraphale nodded dutifully and held Crowley as he drifted off to sleep.

Aziraphale thanked God Herself for the situation he was currently in. Then again, as an angel, he thanked God for a lot of things. Summer showers, warm biscuits, good wine, and the demon curled up sleeping next to him as their daughter rested across the hall. His life had been so stagnant for six thousand years, but in the last fifty he had become an entirely different being. A better one. He leaned over and pressed a kiss to Crowley’s forehead and, despite his usual tendency against it, allowed himself to sleep too.

**Author's Note:**

> This is without a doubt the longest thing I have ever written. This idea grabbed hold of my heart and never let go until I sat down and wrote it all. I'd really appreciate it if you let me know what you think <3.


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